so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
