you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i wish my penis had a tongue
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
