Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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