We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
it was like eating out sand paper
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
