I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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