Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
