Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
