the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Sacagawea was the original milf.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize