dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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