And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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