He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
porn star boner night. come get it.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
