My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
