I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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