Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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