Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Life is so much better after having sex.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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