FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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