This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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