Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
