wat bout pragnant strippers??
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize