Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
