either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
