That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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