Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
