Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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