Kiss
Puke
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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