As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
