Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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