we're blogging at a bar
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
