I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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