Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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