spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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