Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
