alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
As shirtless as possible
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
