SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
