Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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