he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
