PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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