I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
