you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Fuck appropriateness.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
