So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
