Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
