You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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