let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
