you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Randomize