smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
