just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize