I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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