I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
