mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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