Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize