Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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