I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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