i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
