I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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