how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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