omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
